We're Probably Not Leaving in Five Minutes

A hilarious collection of stories and opinions about the insanity and joy of raising a family, from comedian Daniel Tosh and his wife, comedy writer Carly Hallam Tosh.

Daniel and Carly first met while she was bombing her interview for a writing gig on Tosh.0 by not paying enough attention to Daniel’s dog. But eventually, fate brought these two people who were both raised “Florida trash,” together. They’re now the proud parents of two kids. They also have five chickens, a pig named Potato, a dog named Carl, and an endless stream of guests at their house in deep Malibu.

We're Probably Not Leaving in Five Minutes is a collection of essays and opinions about marriage, kids, working in comedy, living in Los Angeles, and Daniel’s and Carly’s own childhoods, which differed greatly from those of their California-born children. 100% funny and 1% useful (math is not their strong suit!), it features stories like, "That Time I Got A Corneal Abrasion From A Graham Cracker," “How to Raise a Funny Kid,” “You Know It’s True Love if One of You Poops Their Pants on Your Second Date and It’s Not Your Last Date,” and "The Problem With A 'Mom Tribe' Is That They All Have Husbands.” You'll also get photos proving their humorous, relatable, and embarrassing tales are true.

With the Tosh family, everyone is in on the joke. As much as they make fun of each other—and they do on every page—it’s all in love, and the spirit of not taking life too seriously. Between shocked gasps and laughs, you may even find yourself thinking: I could learn a thing or two from these nutjobs.